The neglected second child

I’ve never been a ‘baby’ person. This is despite having had a baby in 2008. She was (and still is) beautiful and I love her, but it took three years to work up the nerve to have another baby.

The Sproglette mesmerised and petrified me at the same time. I didn’t enjoy her ‘baby’-ness until she was around 8 or 9 months old. From then on, as she grew up, I fell more in love with each age as it came, and then passed.

(And then she turned three and WHOA was I not prepared for the hell that is threenager. Or the utter sweetness that lives on the flipside and, in a rare moment, can be enjoyed!).

The point is – I’ve never been one to gush and melt and proclaim that I want to have a million babies.

Until now. Behold:

“Ow!” Hear that? That’s the sound of my ovaries twinging.

Harrie is delightful. There is hardly another word for it.

She is the ‘neglected second child’ in the best possible way. She doesn’t get picked up as soon as she cries, she doesn’t get rocked to sleep, she gets woken in the middle of her naps to pick up her sister.

But for all of that, when she does picked up, she clings to me tightly and laughs. As she’s going to sleep, she gets her feet tickled and her belly rubbed by her big sister. And when she’s woken in the middle of a nap to go out, the reward is always a face that’s smiling at her, which seems to be her favourite thing.

The Sproglette will continue to be my first child. We will nurse each other through moments that scare us both – she’ll get bullied, she’ll hurt herself, she’ll tell me she hates me, I’ll cry, I’ll get mad and tell her I love her even if she ‘hates’ me. The Sproglette is a strong personality because that’s what she’ll need to wrestle with me while we both learn where the boundaries should lie to make life work in our family.

The neglected second child will probably always feel like an easy child in comparison, as she sails through on the coat-tails of her big sister’s hard fought battles. She’ll rarely have to bear the brunt of my learning curve as she ‘fits’ into a family that’s been somewhat pre-moulded.

I think she’s here to remind us all to remember to be joyful.

(And I honestly want to give birth to a hundred more four-month-olds just like this one. She’s beautiful.)

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8 thoughts on “The neglected second child

  1. It was the Sproglette that first made my ovaries ache. Now between she and Harrie, I feel like they’re going to explode. You’ve got two beautiful daughters.

    Gorgeous post xx

  2. Oh man – I hear ya on the threenager. Holy crap, if having a threenager doesn’t make your ovaries wither and die, then nothing will! lol
    Both your girls are gorgeous – and your post certainly gives me hope that a second kiddo will be something I can manage (because some days I can barely cope with 1!!) I can only hope E will have a sibling soon…but then I’m done!

  3. I am always amazed at how different my children came out to be. Our first two were on opposite sides of the spectrum – and I thought our 3rd child would be some where in the middle – but it isn’t true. He’s not even on the same scale.

    Enjoy those babies (even on a hellish day with a 3 year old – I keep telling myself this too!)

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