It’s not the heat that kills you…

Like a nuclear explosion on acid

… It’s the humidity.

Most people (Southerners, erk!) talk about Darwin as having two seasons – the Wet, and the Dry. There is no winter here: from May through to September, everyday is bright, sunny and around 33 degrees, with humidity around 20 per cent. At a guess.

From October through to April, everyday is sunny with an afternoon shower/storm (except for when there is a monsoonal trough over the Top End – then everyday is a 24 hours torrential downpour) and around 33 degrees. With humity around 99.99999 per cent. Just at a guess, mind you.

Darwinites, however, talk about a third season – technically part of the Wet, the Build Up is the general disgustingness suffered from September through December, where humidity gets really high and never, ever, I mean, EVER, lets up.

Well, after record downpours in January, when Darwin received four times the monthly average rainfall in the first week of the New Year, we’ve hardly seen any significant rain since. All that water left over from the rain is getting soaked into the air by the gigalitre, and it’s really fucking humid. Again.

Boring technicalities aside, let me put it this way. Features of build up number two:

  • Walking out of a building and literally choking on the thickness of the wet air
  • Swimming to work
  • Sweating through a shirt before you even leave the apartment
  • Application of make up and moisturiser, while possible, is misguided, as these melt off as soon as they are on
  • See above and apply to sunscreen
  • Sitting in a room without a fan results in sweat dribbling from every pore. As I type this, I can feel multiple trickles snaking down my neck and back
  • Tempers rise
  • Tempers flare
  • One feels opressed
  • Power bill soars
  • Unpleasantness abounds
  • I can’t even enjoy a cup of tea anymore. CAUSE IT’S TOO FUCKING HOT!

So, that’s what it’s like in Darwin at the moment. EXCEPT, multiply the unpleasantness of the aboves by eleventy million, and then you’ll know what it really feels like.

A few people told me that during the traditional Build Up, suicide rates in the Top End soar. Well, I’m sure with the revisiting of the shit unpleasant weather, they are skyrocketing again.

And everyone wonders why Territorians are mad as cut snakes.

(And as I type this, I can hear a domestic in a near by house. A women just shreiked “Get out! Get out of this house!” about 20 times).

Daily wrap – 9 February 2010

Breakfast: Fruit and yoghurt again. Lots of that magic fibre stuff this time. Wonder how I will be feeling in about 12 hours. Methinks I should stick close to a building with accessible toilets.

Lunch: Caesar Salad at Salvatores. It was nice but there was TOO MUCH parmesan cheese. Lovely anchovies though – I adore anchovies! Still felt like a porker afterwards.

Snacked on some Lindt Orange Intense Dark Chocolate during the afternoon.

Dinner: High fibre pasta (I think I purchased by mistake) and roasted pumpkin and sweet potato, sprinkled with vintage cheddar. Yum yum.

SprogFood: Weeties for brekky, left over hokkien noodle stir fry for dinner. She’s a noodle eating machine.

Notable moments: Laughing at a colleague because of her Farmville addiction. Addictions of this kind are funny.

UnNoteable moments: Working. Meetings. Bleagh.

Most Brainbusting moment: More of a busted brain moment: taking three minutes to understand why “church conversion” is funny.


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8 thoughts on “It’s not the heat that kills you…

  1. I don’t know how you manage the wet heat. I think I would be irritable and complainy all the time.

    Also, do you always eat this healthy? Because I am very impressed. I envy your self control–especially with the booze. I really don’t think I could go for a month. What does that say about me…?

  2. I hate humidity! Being in Melbourne, it’s not too big a deal, we don’t have that much of it, but I feel for you!

    And I am a reformed FarmVille addict – it is such a stupid game, but sucks people in. When I started saying things like, ‘We have to go home now so I can harvest my crops’, I decided to give it up. I realised that was really very pathetic.

  3. And if i hear one more friggin southerner complain about their weather I will SCREAM!! 36 and 20% humidity is not hot people…yesterday our ‘feels’ like temp 42! Even though it was 36. Suck . It . Up!
    Enough of that, nice to see you blogging again. I’ve missed you…and your posts 🙂 xox

  4. lovely photo. I visited the east coast of the states one year when the humidity was horrible. I opened the door and I felt like I walked into a soft wall. It was ridiculous.

    I’m sorry for your sweat. It doesn’t get to do its job.

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