Instead I will leave you with a few links and bits and bobs that caught my eye.

• I could write how I feel about Australia Day, but one of my tweeps Kathryn put it perfectly on her blog. Her post was straightforward, simple and touching, and summed up how I feel about Australia Day. So I won’t rewrite the wheel, so to speak.
• A tweep friend, Anita Heiss, along with six other proud Aussies featured in a story on Mama Mia, Australia Day: Seven Stories, Seven Australians
• Prime Minister Julia Gillard made headlines as she was dragged through protesters from a function room in Canberra
• Mr Moi came home from a trip (funnily enough, I couldn’t find a link to a news source for this one) and I was really happy because sometimes I find the solo parenting thing reaallly tiring
• Rafa and Federer played each other in the Australian Open but the match was halted for Australia Day fireworks
• Australian artist Gotye topped JJJ’s Hottest 100 with his song, ‘Somebody that I used to know’. And I leave you with that very song:

Yep, that’s a lot of popping!

The store was open on the way back and as I was browing around, the assistant and I had a casual conversation – just the usual Darwin fodder: strange how it’s not wet yet, isn’t it hot though, town is SO quiet with no tourists in town. Etc etc ad infinitum.

I made my choice of present (some lovely resin bracelets – Darwinites must check them out!) and took them to the counter. As I was unloading my lovely new Botaniska tote / satchel from Kikki.K (now discontinued so purchased on special), the shop assistant commented, “You’re not from around here?”

Thinking this was a reference to the fact that one isn’t truly regarded as a Territorian unless they have lived here for 20 years, I said, “Oh, no, I’m not from the Territory, I have only been here for almost three years.”

(Note, there was no sarcasm in my voice when I made that statement).

“Oh,” she said.”Well, you’ve definitely been shopping somewhere outside of Darwin lately!”

“Oh,” I said. I was a little puzzled, wondering how she could tell…

“Yes, you didn’t buy that purse here. Or your bag!” she said.

Ah ha!

“No I didn’t,” I said. “I bought the bag in Brisbane and my purse online.”

“Ah,” she said. “I don’t know what I would do in Darwin without online shopping.”

Neither do I, nice lady. Neither do I.

All in all, a very strange but not unpleasant conversation.

LMM: I know many authors say writing is an intense process and the protectiveness they feel for their book can be likened to that feeling a mother has for a baby. As you are both author and parent, how do you juggle the intense, dedicated periods writing requires, with parenthood?

NG: It’s really hard, and the whole reason for the anonymous publishing of The Bride Stripped Bare was because I didn’t want to have the intensity of the book around the intensity of a baby, and babies won out [this was around the time Nikki had a baby]. I didn’t want to go through the gruelling process of caring about the book.

This [With My Body] is the 7^th or 8^th book coupled with my fourth child and babies win out – I’ve lost some of that protectiveness for the books. I still care but I have the defensiveness up. With my first books I was so hovery and worried for them and now I have learnt more to let them go.

LMM: Writing can be a solitary profession and some authors are finding it easy to connect with their readers and contemporaries through social media such as Twitter, Facebook and blogging. Have you delved into the online world? Do you enjoy the experience?

NG: No I haven’t, but I feel like I’m a rarity because there are a lot of writers around me who have Twitter. For me, I just find with four kids, one a young baby, and a column in The Australian and writing the fiction, I don’t have the time to have my brain eaten up by that, and it’s a slippery slope. So I have to try to have the discipline not to enter!

LMM: As an author in Australia, and particularly in light of the debate in recent years about parallel imports of books to Australia, do you think the electronic format of publishing will give up and coming Australian authors more opportunities to enter the market?

NG: Publishers were talking about publishing in the future straight to the electronic format; that they would have books that go straight to ebooks. Some writers might be horrified by that but I’m excited because I think it may mean more books are being taken up, and younger, newer writers might get a chance they may not have gotten previously. It’s a new and exciting world.

LMM: When you’re asked to give advice to aspiring writers – of which there are many online – what’s your best advice?

NG: If you want to actually write a novel – write as if you were dying. It’s the great motivator.

Thank you so much to Nikki Gemmell for giving up her time to have a chat with me.

Glamming it up on a coffee date

Well it’s been a while now since I had my little rant/tanty (ranty?) about how being a mum makes me feel like I’ve been ‘put on the shelf’ so to speak.

Let’s recap shall we? Back in November, I made a few ‘I feel’ statements (some corporate HR gurus would be proud of me there!). Along the lines of: I feel old. I feel tied down. I feel ugly. I feel unglamourous. I feel bored and boring.

So what have I done to make myself feel a little better about myself?

• I bought some new clothes. They aren’t fabulous by any means; in fact they are mostly from Target. But they are new, they are rip-offs of on trend clothes, they are comfortable and I like them.
• I put away my maternity clothes and pulled out my old clothes. I still can’t wear many of my dresses because I’m breastfeeding, but they are in the wardrobe to remind me that they are there, and it won’t be long ’til they’re back in rotation.
• I wear earrings everyday. There’s nothing better to jazz up some bad hair than a pair of earrings. If I don’t have a pair of big dangly earrings on, I feel like I’m walking around in my underwear.
• I love my new glasses. Once again, bad hair and no makeup can be disguised by my big specs. People notice the specs, not my worn out face. Now the wet season is here and it’s overcast often, I’m wearing them a lot.
• I bought some cheap accessories to match my new clothes. Hello Diva! I actually shopped instore – but when I googled Diva to provide that link, I found out you can shop online. Oh dear! Bad news!
• I got a haircut. I finally got rid of the mop when I was in Brisbane. Thanks to Christmas holidays, I got some babysitting time and used that time to get my hair chopped.
• I wear things that smell nice. Mr Moi bought me a goodie bag/box of Aesop stuff. And living in the tropics makes things go off in half the time, so I use something nice every day, thank you very much.
• I have become a little houseproud. Keeping the main parts of our place neat and tidy helps me feel a little less out of control. I have purged a little, and tuck mess away behind closed doors, and I’m quite comfortable with that.
• I surround myself with pretty little things. I’m a stationery addict, so have stocked up on things from Kikki.K and Typo in my recent travels down south. Obvs this was before Typo got itself into a lot of bad books with some of their silly designs.

And last but not least, I try, at least once a week, to take part in Andrea from @FoxInFlats weekly style dare. It’s a fun way to think about how I look and try something I wouldn’t usually try. This week it’s red nail polish – and I NEVER wear nail polish. Thanks to Andrea for pulling me out of my fashion rut every now and then!

The next step to feeling good, for me, will be all about using my brain more… so I’ll have to get thinking!

I want to have a happy new year. Spending the last few months of 2011 as a new parent was both exhilarating as well as demoralising. Not as 100 per cent demoralising as I found the Sproglette, but there are still moments, at 1 am when you’re rocking a wired non-sleeping baby to sleep, that you stupidly decide to start discussing with your husband, in not-so-dulcet-tones, the parenting techniques you’ve decided to employ and why. Of course a fight ensues.

Baby number two is about a million times easier than baby number one. I’m sure the Sproglette will continue to be my test run as she goes through the years, but following up will be little miss Harrie who will benefit from the battles I fight with myself and the Sprog.

In general, though, I have struggled to be 100 per cent happy in a place I didn’t want to move to, a long way from my family, living with kids and a husband who travels a lot, in an environment that is debiliatingly hot and humid, with few recreational interests that I enjoy.

The Mr and I are the only break for each other. When we’re tag teaming the kids, it makes it really difficult to connect with each other, especially when he travels. And a flight to anywhere from Darwin is simply too long to take on a regular basis.

But, I’m hoping to put all these things behind me. I need to focus on the positive, get off my bum, put a smile on my face and enjoy everything. Enjoy the Sprog’s tantrums – I am becoming so good at diplomacy that I should be able to put it on my resume soon.

So here’s to having a happy new year, and I hope you’re having one too.

When I was told I was one of three bloggers being given the opportunity to interview Nikki Gemmell – who was lovely by the way – I was really excited. Being an avid book lover I thought it was a great opportunity to have a light-hearted delve into the mind of an author.

I also went to great effort to craft an interesting post to read while promoting the kindle competitor That Shall Not Be Named.

However, I am a personal / mummy blogger, not a book blogger, so I asked if it was possible to get a product to give it away on my blog to make my efforts relevant to my readers.

I wasn’t too surprised when I was met with a no; it was worth a shot.

So imagine my surprise when I found out that the other two, yes TWO; not TWO-ZERO TWENTY, not TWO HUNDRED, but TWO bloggers running this promo not only got a product to giveaway, but a product to keep as well.

The message I get? My time is not important because I only get 200 readers per post? Maybe, but why pitch to me in the first place?

What baffles me is that the account manager actually thinks it’s ok that I get nothing to giveaway for promoting The Product That Shall Not Be Named whereas the other TWO people do. If I was to get the same treatment as the others, the PR company would be distributing a total of SIX PRODUCTS to bloggers. Not SIX-ZERO SIXTY, not SIX HUNDR…. oh you get the picture.

I wouldn’t have minded if I was one of 20 bloggers to interview Nikki and only two bloggers got a giveaway. But to be the only one of three who is stupid enough to promote a product for absolutely nothing – well, I feel like an ass.

And guess what – I don’t like feeling like as ass. You’re messing with fragile new mama hormones, Mr PR Company. I have a two month old – sitting down to make a phone call and write a post isn’t as easy as picking up the phone.

And here’s the kicker – I work in PR. Perhaps I should have been more wary, but I have ethics and as a result I would never take advantage of a blogger or a paid member of the media. If I expect someone to write about my product I would be courteous and thank them for their time; I would either pitch an exclusive story to one outlet or send everyone on my list media release and product.

And if one of my employees treated a contact the way I’ve been treated, I would take them off the account. I would be embarrassed to have an employee like that. Good contacts are gold, regardless of circulation, and messing with relationships is just not on. If I was Sony, I would be embarrassed by the way I’m being represented by an agency I pay a LOT of money to.

So if you want to win a Product That Shall Not Be Named, visit the lovely Eden at www.edenriley.com or Mrs Woog at www.woogsworld.com, because this here portion of the interwebs is not important enough to offer you one.

Okay now please excuse this stupid mummy blogger – I have another nappy to change.

Oh and if you want an eReader – buy a kindle!

I was recently given the opportunity to interview Nikki Gemmell, author of The Bride Stripped Bare and her latest novel, With My Body.

Now, I’ve previously touched on the complex relationship I have with reading, from reading too much (and in that mess of bookshelves was my copy of Bride Stripped Bare), to descending into straight out reader’s block. Not to mention my obsession with the printed word extending to an overindulgence in cookbooks. No wonder my poor bookshelves are on the brink of death.

Sony has launched the new Reader WiFi Touch, and to celebrate, I had the opportunity to inteview Nikki. I chose to chat to her about her writing and reading habits, and boy was I surpised at just how much we have in common.

Like: we both have babies! And we’ve both lived in the Terrritory! And we both love reading! The Daily Mail! (shh!). And we’ve both spent more money than we really should have hauling books halfway across the world and back, because, you know, books are like old friends and are the perfect antidote to homesickness.

Now I say that’s a recipe for us being BFFs.

No, but, seriously.

Here is part one of my interview with Nikki Gemmell, a lovely lady, mother of four and Sony Reader WiFi Touch fan.

LMM: Some people in the online world claim – rather tongue in cheek – that they blog or tweet to save the cost of therapy. Have you found writing to be a cathartic process; to help you adapt as you move through stages of your life?

NG: Yes I do. Writing is my therapy – it’s my harbour or haven to rest form the mad world around me. Particularly with motherhood; without writing I would drown in motherhood. I need it to exercise my brain, it is rest from the intensity of four kids.  It’s my rock or anchor to carve out that time for my self, and I need to do it every day.

LMM: Like me, you have travelled for work and found yourself in the Northern Territory. Of course, the advent of the e-reader would save me a fortune in freight, as I can take my favourite books with me on one device. Are there any well worn volumes you have or will load onto your Sony Reader next time you travel?

NG: I have lugged books from Sydney to Darwin to Alice Springs to London back to Australia. Last time we moved we got rid of so many books for the first time ever – we had huge argy bargies over who had to throw out their books. Now there is so much you can put on the Reader – the Sony one holds 1,200  books – and weirdly I don’t have any sentimentality. For years I have lugged around Hucklyberry Finn and Pride and Prejudice and now they are on my Reader. I used to think it was weird to go into a house with no bookshelves. Now I don’t question it – they probably have them on a Reader.

And any luggage I take travelling these days has kids’ clothes and nappies in it!

LMM: Since becoming a parent myself, I have to admit to the guilt of reading chick lit novels – the book snob in me wants to hide the cover so no one can see it. Of course, an e-reader is perfect for this. Would you be guilty of hiding some ‘lighter reading’ on your Reader? What’s your guilty pleasure?

NG: I found some people with my books – are not chick lit but ‘full-on’ content – adult material shall I say – there are some people who would not be comfortable reading them on the tube or bus. But others would wear it as a badge of honour.  For my kind of writing eReaders are a boon or blessing. People can be comfortable be reading raw or upfront material.

LMM: And what are your guilty reading pleasures?

NG: I love Grazia magazine every week! I do read differently now – I was asked by a newspaper about my books for the year and realised I haven’t read that many books this year. I read so differently now with eReaders, magazines, newspapers across the globe – and it eats into my proper book time. It’s not guilty reading at all, but it’s different reading. I read the Daily Mail – and The Guardian to balance it out!

That concludes Part I of my interview with Nikki. Stayed tuned for Part II later this week, where we talk a little more about her writing and life as a writer.

See Part 1 here.

See Part 2 here.

So Harrie arrived and I was gloat-ful. I sat in the bed, holding my little baby on my chest, my number two – which comes sans the ‘Oh Fuck’ factor, and thus far easier to enjoy.

‘I can’t believe how much better I feel this time compared to the Sproglette,’ I was telling Mr Moi and my mum. (I lost some blood at the birth of Sproglette, and then 2.5 weeks later had a big secondary post-partum haemhorrage).

Gloat gloat gloat. Gloatgloatgloat you get the idea.

About 30 minutes after Harrie was born (I lie, I have no idea how long after, but sufficiently long enough that the doc and midwives had all left the delivery suite), a midwife came in wheeling the scales to weigh Harrie. She was chatting away asking me questions while she fussed about getting everything ready, and must have asked how I was. My answer?

‘I’m okay, but I really hate that gushing feeling you get down *there*.’ To which she answered, ‘Gushing feeling?’ and came over, lifted the blanket and discovered that I was dispersing blood like there was no tomorrow. Cause you know, blood – who needs it?

She rushed out to get the doctor and all of a sudden the room filled once again with about four midwives (and the Doc).

The gazillions of people in the room were all fussing over me – handing the baby to Mr Moi, taking my pulse, blood pressure (I think it was around 60 over something), trying to get an IV in . I got cold, which wasn’t helping the Doc with the IV, so he got an anaesthetist to come in to do it, got me under a contraption like a paper blanket that pumps warm air through it.

When they weighed the blood that I lost, they estimated it at 1.8 litres so decided to do a transfusion straight away. This meant I had a very uncomfortable night in the birth suite while I was getting fixed up, but never the less we still got to enjoy our squishy little baby.

At the 6 week appointment with the Doc, I asked for his thoughts on my damned uterus affliction, and he said some women just have these problems.

Thank God for modern medicine, without which I would not be here to share this story with you. (And that’s why I will never be a candidate for homebirth!)

Yes, motherhood makes me feel old. I don’t know why. I have only just hit my 30s, and I’ve never regarded the 30s as old. For me, it was just another birthday.

Perhaps it’s not motherhood that makes me feel old, per se, but that I’ve had kids, and I inevitably put them first, and I’ve lost myself along the way.

I want to reconnect with the things that made me feel vibrant (and thus, young, at least at heart).

Perhaps it’s because of the restraints that children inevitably put on a lifestyle. Despite what one thinks about maintaining their lifestyle after parenthood – the reality is when you have kids, you can’t just do what you want. Like to go the toilet when you want to. So, as much as one can aim to maintain their pre-baby lifestyle, it changes.

Pre-kids, when we decided to take a trip we could do it – pack a bag and go, passport in hand. Now we have to pack days in advance to make sure we have everything the kid(s) need(s), not to mention taking carseats and strollers, and worrying about going to places with moquito-borne viruses, etc etc etc.

Then there’s the fact that I need to lose about 15 – 20 kgs. I don’t know why this would make me feel old – perhaps it just makes me feel bad about myself.

When I was at uni and in the early years of my working life, I loved to express myself through my choice of attire. I wasn’t feminine and I wasn’t fashionable per se, but I loved dressing quirkily – knee socks, monochromatic outfits, brightly dyed hair – this was all part of who I was and people knew that. I would arrive at work in some strange outfit or another, and people would smile and put my fashion down to me being me.

I used to love to wear clothes that made people look at me. Now I’m too embarrassed to wear something remotely ‘out there’ in case I look fat. I don’t want anyone to look at me.

Not to mention the lack of time to pursue things I’m actually interested in – if I can remember them at all! Actually I can – I used to love to go out for long dinners with my friends, getting philosophical over a glass bottle of wine, go for a dance in a club, go to see some bands and see where the night led me. I used to love to do research on music and buy obscure CDs. I used to love to plan my trips to the next destination that I could run amok in.Go see art house films. Etc etc etc.

Ahh… to be 19 again!

I used to sass talk anyone and everyone – I respected authority (I’m not an anarchist), but I still think that regardless of anything, we’re all just people. So perhaps I ‘recognised’ authority, but I didn’t ‘respect’ it. Which lead me to turn down an introduction to Kevin Rudd, because – as I told him – I’d just been to the loo and I hadn’t dried my hands properly. And I asked the Archbishop of Brisbane if I could be his date to a fancy event I knew he was going to. And no one ever hated me for being cheeky, but these days I care far to much about making a bad impression, or offending someone – and thus I’ve lost a big part of my sense of humour.

Moving around hasn’t helped either – in some ways, it’s made me more confident in myself and the strengths of my personality. But in other ways, it’s taken my confidence away because it’s just so tiring to have to wheel yourself out to meet new people all the time. It’s always a relief to go back to Brisbane and relax in the company of old friends – you don’t have to be on any kind of behaviour with them and the lack of pressure is immense.

So. To conclude. There isn’t a conclusion. This is a pity party, woe is me post. Fairly run of the mill for 8 weeks post partum. But I want to get rid of that feeling that I’m ‘on the shelf’  – not sure how to do that in Darwin, but I’ll find a way!

The first thing to do is to change my blog/twitter avatar to get rid of that pregnant photo. Pregnancy and the aftermath do nothing to boost one’s self esteem!

Now to actually take a decent photo of myself…

When I was pregnant with the Sproglette, I didn’t drink per se, but if Mr Moi was trying a new beer or wine, I had a sip to get a taste. With Harrie, I couldn’t be bothered engaging in something so futile, and so it transpires that I haven’t had alcohol all year.

The official information for alcohol consumption in pregnancy is very black and white – no alochol at all – but woman has an anecdote claims, “My/my friend’s/Dr Google’s OB said it was OK to have a glass of wine every now and then”.

It doesn’t help that the current generation of grandmas – i.e. the mothers of current child birthers – in the main part were never given any ‘don’t eat this, don’t drink that’ advice, and they can make you feel like a paranoid fool for following the current advice that is out there.

The reality is that the trend in drinking habits of Australians have changed since grandmas gave birth. Firstly, we drink a lot more – so much so that binge drinking is often the norm for many people. Secondly, we drink in the home when we’re not socialising. This was not the norm in the 60s and 70s.

There is a similar quandary with alcohol and breast feeding. Some sources claim that the amount of alcohol that escapes into breastmilk is minimal. Others claim it flows freely and you’ll seriously damage your baby if you drink and breastfeed. The hospital where I had the Sproglette serves a glass of wine with dinner, for goodness sake – and it’s a dedicated maternity hospital. Conflicting messages anyone?

When I was breastfeeding the Sproglette, I adhered to the rule regarding alcohol consumption – if you want to drink, do it while you’re feeding or just after you’ve fed. This will ensure it’s left the bloodstream by the time you feed again.

This time, I simply can’t be bothered. Timing the drinking, stressing that you might have to feed the baby earlier than planned – it’s all too much for far too futile an outcome. I haven’t had a drink all year, I can’t be bothered starting now.

I did, however, drink coffee all throughout my pregnancy with Harrie. Just one small coffee per day – my one indulgence. Since having her, though, I wonder what effect caffeine has on babies who are breastfed, seeing as anything that is drunk flows into the breast milk.

Food (and drink) for thought.